Words that Makes All The Sense

Mauerbauertraurigkeit:

The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Sonder:

The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia:

The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis:

The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement:

The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor:

The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis:

The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat

Kenopsia:

The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Jouska:

A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism:

The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen:

The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche:

A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.

Ellipsism:

A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko:

A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism:

The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Adronitis:

Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe:

The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens:

The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism:

The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis:

The desire to care less about things.

Exulansis:

The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Altschmerz:

Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism:

The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

Saudade

Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return. A sad feeling about a happy memory

Lypophrenia:

A sense or feeling of sorrow or sadness, without any apparent cause or source.

आओ ख़ामोशी सुनो!!

कई बार लगता है क़िताबों की तरह हो जाओ, अल्फ़ाज़ों से लबरेज़ पर फिर भी खामोश..!!

और एक बात ये भी है के जो मतलब निकाल लो, शब्दों से तो ढेर मानी निकल जाएंगे !!

ख़ामोशी की ये बात है के उसके मानी सिर्फ उसे पता होते हैं; कोई और चाहे , जितना निकालने की कोशिश करे नही निकलते, यूँ ही बयाँ नही होते!!

इसलिये शायद ये कहना जायज़ भी होगा के

” ख़ामोशी का हासिल भी इक लम्बी सी ख़ामोशी है..न किसी ने सुनी न किसी ने सुनाई ”

बिल्कुल चुप सी एक खामोश रात की दास्ताँ और न जाने कितने ऐसे सन्नाटों की दास्तानें अपने आप मे सिमटी हुई, उधेड़बुन मे उलझे ख़यालों से लिपटी हुई!!

आओ कोशिश करो, ख़ामोशी सुनो¡

Self Note!!

100 baat ki ek baat..

As long as you’ll not handle what happens within you, no matter how the external surrounding is..how the world is and no matter how people behave or be …as long as you’ll not bring the control of how to be within yourself , how to handle your reactions to everything.. everything now and then will be a bothering or suffering for us..!!

You learn to not give control of yourself to any thing except your own will..!!

Savvy?

Gut Feelings to Feeling Exhausted

See here’s this thing, you know, that you tread for something in your life, you start it, and your gut feeling keeps oscillating whether you’ll get it done or achieve or finish it or that you’ll just get stuck in between, incomplete, like unfinished and sort of failed, and hence keep dragging it and dragging it, coz now you can’t help it, you’re stuck in between; unsuccessful, since you went with your gut and little misjudgment (again having belief in your gut)… and so keep on going.. !!

Although finishing it, but dead-end exhausted and fruitless, tired, agitated!! That’s how life till date has been for most of the or many events, and yet somehow lived through it, managing, surviving, giving yourself hope at every stop and turn… and allowing yourself to keep on going!!

Weird the journey of life is.. your options, your choices, your decisions, your consequences and then your so called fate…!!

Some how no matter what you live through it..!!

Missing!!

There are these songs that I hear randomly at silent nights or amidst chaotic days or I see these infrequent dreams early mornings or at midnite and I think of you, I wish of you, I yearn for you!!

And then I want to message you then and there, or call you or update you of what I am thinking bout you or bout certain things, or probably i wanna hear you or see your smiling face through video call, and tell you all the stuffs!!

But Couldn’t!!!

coz a lot has happened, lot of unsaid words, uncleared doubts and misconceptions, unsettled unsure opinions and all of the journey that was done, hanging in between with half truth and half lies and now  unsure of how long it will continue or how it will be carried further..

But nonetheless story it is that was beautifully lived, short lived, but beautiful!!

#journey #story #life

Chained Up

Shouldn’t be there something like a notification or a reminder or a note type of a thing telling us that you’re already so done with those people whom you were so strongly bonded to once.

Like u know emotionally mentally you’re done with them long back and that you can’t share your life, your events, your feelings the same way you used to with them before, but still on frequent occasions you keep on the interactions going just for the old sake or formality purposes or coz you’re bit tied up with old memories and somehow wanna let it be there instead of finishing it off completely!!

करगुज़ारी (2)

ये सरे दुनिया तुम्हारे बस की नही.

तुम ठहरे अदद बेवकूफ.
दुनियादारी और लोगो की फरेबी की तुमको क्या समझ..न तुम्हे लोगो की परख, न उनकी फितरत की!

ये सरे चरीखाई दुनिया और उसके बाशिंदे तुम्हे निचोड़ के फेक देवेंगे और तुम्हारा जिल्द भी न बचेगा.
तुम क्या जानो उनकी कारस्तानी और चाल.

तुम ठहरे दिलफेंक..हर बात को भरोसे से मानने वाले..जिसने जो बोला वैसा मान लिया..जिसने से जैसे जताया समझ लिया..पर तुम अहमक़ तुमको क्या परख!

ये चेहरों में छिपे चेहरे वाले लोग क्या दिल समझेंगे..क्या दिल समझायेंगे..ये खुद इस्तेमाल करके फेके कूड़े जैसे पड़े..कूड़े जैसे दिलवाले हो गए!

तुम कहाँ इनके चक्करों में पड़के खुश हो गए के चलो कोई मिला नया जो तुम्हारा दिल समझेगा या तुम्हारी बेवकूफी को समझ के समझायेगा..

एक बात समझ लो..तुम लोगो के लिए नही..और ये मुखोटों, दस कटोरों में छुपाकर मुंह मारने वाले लोग तुम्हारे लिये नही..
ये चंद पल के लोगों से क्या लंबी कहानी की उम्मीद करना..

तुम तो अपना बोरिया बिस्तरा समेटो..और चुपचाप गठरी बांध केक खिसक लो..

न पुछनवार है ना.. न कोई बतानवार..

बाकी खैर तुम्हारी मर्ज़ी..

Toxic

The feelings or twines that grow from the roots of void, of selfish needs, of vulnerablity coz of vaccum will only lead to mental suffering!!

The ones who have been used, been manipulated, been dusted off from a journey taken together, who have been used only either like a tissue paper or trash bin can only stink of the same and then they can do that same to the ones coming in contact with others too!!

Journey of Trust (XI)

On that silent night, when the mirage of calmness was just some how trying to remain cold, few words, words which meant

But then I don’t trust you nor can I ever respect you again.

created that riff which led to a outbreak like volcano destroying everything that was there leaving nothing in its trail, everything died and destroyed that night!!

On that night a haunting silent fell upon forever!!

What do you do with a fragile trust?

You allow it to crumble and fall?

You sort and bring clarity to it to decide further and rebuild something more stronger and beautiful over it?

You leave it to time to let it unfold on its own?

You just let it be and leave it as it is?

किरचें!!

वो बात जो बढ़ते बढ़ते इतनी बढ़ गयी थी के सारी आवाज़ों को उसने मार दिया..

चुप खड़ी दीवारों और सन्नाटे में पड़ी ज़मीन पे ऐसे छनाके सी गिरी वो आवाज़ जैसे ज़ोर से कांच गिरता है!!

उतने ही टुकड़ों में टूटा उस रात वो शक़्स भी जितने टुकड़ों में कांच गिरता है!!

उसकी उड़ती हई किरचें और उससे ज़ख़्मी वो दिल, वो रिश्ता..वो बात, वो लहज़ा, वो उम्मीद, सब वही गिरा पड़ा रहा!!